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About Shymkent

So sexual-massage, yeah? It’s like a massage, but spicy, innit. Them hands ain’t just kneadin’ ya back - they’re goin’ *places*, fam. Little-known fact - back in ancient times, them Chinese emperors was gettin’ these rubs to “balance their chi” or summat. Probs just an excuse to get freaky, haha! Makes me laff thinkin’ about some posh git in a robe tryna play it cool while he’s all oiled up.

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Finally, I manage to catch one. I’m feelin’ like a champ. But then, I hear a noise. I turn around, and there’s a kid watchin’ me. He’s laughin’ his head off. I’m like, “What’s so funny, kid?” He says, “You’re scared of rats!” I’m like, “Nah, I’m just playin’ hard to get.”

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